By David Patterson
Dolly Parton spent a lifetime giving to others. But behind the rhinestones, sold-out concerts and larger-than-life personality was another role she took just as seriously: wife and caregiver.
Parton was married to Carl Dean for nearly sixty years. While she lived much of her life in the spotlight, Carl preferred privacy and a quiet life away from the cameras. In his final years, as his health declined, Dolly spent more time caring for him and less time focusing on herself.
After his death in March 2025, Parton openly acknowledged something many family caregivers understand: When someone you love needs you, it is easy to put your own needs on the back burner.
That is where caregiving can become complicated. What begins as helping with a doctor’s appointment or picking up a prescription can gradually become a full-time responsibility involving medications, meals, finances, transportation, household duties and emotional support.
And somewhere along the way, the caregiver can disappear.
Caregiving expert Neal Shah has described the experience as a combination of chronic stress, physical exhaustion and emotional heartbreak. That combination is precisely why caregivers need to recognize that taking care of themselves isn’t selfish, it is necessary.
Toula Wootan, founder of the Caregiver Coalition of Northeast Florida, has spent years advocating for family caregivers and reminding them that they don’t have to do everything alone. Her message is simple: Ask for help. Build a support system. Give yourself permission to step away when you need to recharge.
For caregivers, that can be easier said than done.
Joanne Hickox, founder of Jacksonville’s Seniors on a Mission, believes older adults should remain connected to purpose, people and activities that make life meaningful. That philosophy is especially important for caregivers, who can become so focused on another person’s needs that they lose touch with their own interests and friendships.
So, what can we learn from Dolly?
Love deeply. Show up. Be there when someone needs you.
Take the walk. Meet the friend for lunch. Go to the exercise class. Accept the offer when someone says, “Let me give you a break.” Ask your family for help before you’re exhausted. Find respite care. Join a caregiver support group and hang in there.
